Thursday, December 18, 2008

Turning from Miss Sunshine to Crabby Patty

I like Christmas. I like the novelty, the decorations, the festiveness of the season. I like lights and presents and the delight of the time. But it's getting to feel like people have had way too much sugar and are bouncing off the walls and turning into two creatures: bratty children and crusty old grumps. The Brats are the ones who insist on having it their way no matter the situation, disrupting the routine and peace and quiet in order to get attention. They're the ones who demand certain things in the store, who squeal at gatherings, and chatter about gifts to get. The Grumps are the ones who have slowly had their spirits sucked away by frustration. They're the ones who liked the Christmas season but now it's time to move on to other things, like rotating the tires and getting the receipts ready for tax season. The Grump is the one in the checkout line behind the Brat who is arguing over the price of the mp3 player and silently wishing they had an axe to resolve the issue.

Tonight I came home feeling like a Grump. And I don't like it. I likened it to turning into an old spinster with her hair in a bun and a too tight girdle. What caused it? A flock of Brats. Brats twittering about the snow falling outside. Brats twittering about Christmas gifts they're getting for their families. Brats twittering about the gifts they got from their secret pals. It was enough that I had to move to another desk to work, which sucks because the view outside my cubicle is beautiful. The snow that was falling this morning was very pretty, nice big fat flakes that just said Christmas. I just didn't need the constant commentary from the Brats freaking out about it despite the fact that they were going home in five hours, giving ample time for the stuff to melt (which it did) and the roads to clear (which they did).

So this evening I'm turning on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me on the 'puter, brewing a big pot of decaf tea, and sitting with my knitting for a pleasant evening of hilarity and fun. No Brats Included. I'm hoping it will quash the Grump in me so that I'll be more hospitable tomorrow.

Fiber Stuff

A couple of days ago a thread of conversation on the GLBT Knit list ran to dyeing with Koolaid. Someone mentioned a list of things and another said it sounded like a carol. Somehow my mind clicked in the right places and came up with this lovely piece of doggerel.

Sung to "My Favorite Things" with apologies to Rogers & Hammerstein.

Bottles of yellow and purple and pink

Red, blue and aqua and a big heavy sink

Buckets and winders and bobbins of string

These are a few of my dyeing things.

Mordants and fixes and bags made of plastic

Microwaves, stewpots and bands of elastic

Warp boards for striping and recipe schemes

These are a few of my dyeing things.

When the dog bites, when the kid screams, when I’m feeling sad.

I go to the basement and boil up some dye and then I don’t feel so bad.

Cotton and linen and baby alpaca

Even ole wool if that’s what you are afta’

Soak it, exhaust it, then hang from a swing.

This is what I do with dyeing things.

When the car blows, when the spouse whines, when I’m feeling sad,

I go to the basement and boil up some dye and then I don’t feeeeel sooooooo baaaaaaad!!!


Tammy said...

Love the song!! I hope the Grumps go away for you, but I know how you are feeling. Hugs. And quiet work tomorrow. :)

Cindy said...

You definitely have a gift for writing catchy lyrics! :)

I know what you mean about "the brats." For me, those are the folks in the store who are talking in their cell phone about what "just the right thing" is to get for so-and-so while they push through the aisles as if no one else is around. They're the main reason I don't go near a mall after Thanksgiving. I want to shake them and say, "It's not about the stuff!" because even if you aren't religious, to me the holiday is about connections and bright lights on dark nights and the fact that soon those nights will be shorter again. It's a feeling, not a pretty package under a tree.

Ho! Ho! Hope tomorrow is better!

Jeri said...

Lovely song! Joyous Dye! You are the best, Duffster, and may the Christmas spirit fill you with joy! Who cares about the Brats....
All the best,

Tiggywinkle Knits said...

I've been grumpy the last couple days, too; I think it's the gray skies and lack of mobility getting to me. Love the song, though! Hope Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and tea chases the Grump away; I think I'll try Santa Clause 1 and hot cocoa.

PNWBookGirl said...

You have to sing this for Sharon! Love the socks!