But you will never find her in a pair of plaid pants

Jeanne tagged me (a hit! A most palpable hit!) with the Six Weird Things About Me meme that's making the rounds. And since she put in such a nice comment I'll play. However, I will leave my gentle readers the option of being tagged, since not everyone likes to play. So here goes.

First, the requirements: "Each player of this game starts with the ‘6 weird things about you.’ People who get tagged need to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog.” Like I said, if you want to play, let me know and I'll tag ya. Or you can swipe this on your own, comment that you swiped it, and everyone will be happy.

Let me preface this that I got the notice that I was tagged this morning and while I was at work I spent my dead time thinking of what weird things I have. If you were looking for something kinky, I gotta tell you you're gonna be disappointed. After that weaselbutt comment for just encouraging people to give to those less needy, I don't want to attract the anti-sex coalition. Those of you who want more details can leave me your phone number and your fruit preference.

1. I have a beard. Not a few whiskers that stick out of Aunt Ethel's mole, but a beard. It runs from the corners of my mouth down to under my chin. I'd let it grow, but people think I'm crazy enough as it is. During my time off recovering from my surgery, I might just let it grow to see what it looks like.

2. I think circus clowns are disturbing. There's something about a man or a woman who puts on garish facepaint and tries to make you laugh by doing bizarre things in front of you. I prefer rodeo clowns. They're doing what I want circus clowns to do: stand in front of a half ton of angry pot roast.

3. I never liked baby dolls or stuffed animals when I was a child. I never wanted to have a baby and these creatures that just stare at you trying to be cute are just disturbing. I had Barbies, but the baby dolls gathered dust in the bottom of my toy chest.

4. I collect stuffed sheep. I have 19 of them, including one received for Christmas that doubles as a pillow. It's going with me to the hospital so I have something to hug when I need to cough up the crap left behind from the anesthetic. And I have kits for Sam the Ram and Sue the Ewe. They may get done during my convalescence.

5. I'm a neatnik at work but a slob at home. I live in an old house with no storage space. I need fifty million cabinets. I've even done preliminary plans to turn one of my bedrooms into a giant closet with a bunch of cabinets for my stuff. In the meantime, stuff just gets dumped on the floor wherever.

6. I find some words visually repulsive and some words fascinating to look at. When I write, I see the words as patterns, not an ordered blend of letters. For me, some words like crotch and son and secret and slacks look weird. Then there are some words that for some reason at a particular moment will strike me and I'll stare at them for a minute or two. Like cake or shoe or pastrami or plaid pants. This visualizing words as patterns helps me spell words correctly, but there are times when I look at a word and think, "Is that spelled right?" only to realize that it's the pattern that's attracting me.

I won't go into other things that are simply my opinion, like I think ice skating is overrated, that every driver should take the driver's test at age 40, and that we should bring back the word contrary as an adjective to describe someone who is slightly stubborn.

Anyone want to be tagged?