RESOLUTIONS

This is the time of year when people make resolutions. Many are broken; others are kept for a while then they go by the wayside when old habits raise their heads. I used to make resolutions but gave it up. I mean, what is January 1st but another day? Why make a resolution today when you can make one a week from now and still be valid? Why have a resolution that is supposed to last all year? Why not make one that lasts just a day? A week? An hour?

Well, there are traditions and taking my cue from a source long forgotten (I think it was Calvin & Hobbes), I'm going to make resolutions I know for certain I will keep.

I resolve to never invade a foreign country or instigate a political coup.

I resolve to never rob a bank.

I resolve to never engage in insider trading.

I resolve to lift no more than 260 pounds.

I resolve to use a letter of the English alphabet once a day.

I resolve to spend my year in the dissemination of joy.

I resolve to never swim in the Pacific Ocean.

I resolve to whistle.

I resolve to maintain a level of levity commensurate to the situation at hand.

What are your resolutions?